Phoenix

My internal philosopher kicks in from time to time, trying to make sense of life, and of the reasons why sometimes…shit. just. happens. Depending on the magnitude or severity of the situation (I’d like to also jokingly say – whether it hit the fan or not), I may do recovery cleaning effectively and efficiently, and other times, I may get stuck. Stuck in a shitty rut that is. So what does my inner Plato or Nietzsche say then?

Personally, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is not one right answer, and most importantly not one right timeless answer. I have been down this beaten path a few times, and depending on the time of my life that I have taken this stroll again, I almost always interpreted things a bit differently, and most definitely always discovered hidden treasures in hidden pockets that I had not noticed before.

Undeniably, at the onset of the emotional calamity, I have tried to tell myself as my first instinct kicks in: “Seriously?! Again?! You’ve got to be kiddin’ me! I am soooo not going down in the emotional trenches once more. I’ll just sip on my margarita right here in the shallow end, sombrero on head, I will avoid the heat thank you very much”, clearly explaining my enthusiasm for getting ‘down and dirty’ in such events. Unfortunately, Martha Beck’s remark always rings true: “When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere”. Oh, she is right alright - she isn't a Harvard graduate for nothin'!

Despite my mental temper tantrums equivalent to those of a toddler kicking and screaming on the floor, of absolutely not wanting to deal with the current issue in question, after having gone down the beaten path a few times in my life, I now know that my only solution to getting past the emotional trenches that have been put in front of me as a result of a situation that life presents itself with, is to get into the trenches, and feel everything there is to feel to the last drop, may it be good, bad and/or ugly. Accept it (even if I have to beat it with a stick!), come to peace with it… and then calmly put it aside. It has been dealt with. Only then, is the mind clear enough to take action and simply move on.

So having said that, coming to terms with certain events is just not my cup of tea. It really is easier said than done, that's for sure! Its meticulous, tenacious work, and emotional 'detail oriented' activity that I would choose to do without, and instead...go shoe or bag shopping - way more fun! Seriously. I can’t begin to honestly tell you how much one part of me can relate to the famous Gone With the Wind quote: “I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all…Tomorrow is another day." But the older I get, the more ridiculous I know that sounds. Even though, inside my own ego’s mind, I swear it totally makes sense. ...However, as time has shown me, when finding oneself in an occasional firestorm of life, allowing the emotional fire to set off, and having it burn out until it dies down, letting it run its natural course, is the best way to actually deal with it. Out of these metaphorical ashes, a relatively new, regenerated version of ourselves will immerse. I usually have to sit myself down on my balcony, glass of vino in hand, my iTunes playing setting the mood, and whether I like it or not, allowing for the soul searching to take place. To put it more simply, I can’t allow my mind to look like the inside of my closets and drawers – those are places where I will probably never be meticulous or tenacious enough to clean up the mess they contain. But I can’t think about them right now. I’ll deal with them tomorrow. After all...tomorrow is another day *wink*