...And boy, thinking is all I have been doing lately. About two weeks ago a very awkward moment snuck up on me from nowhere, a sort of blast from the past, that has determined me for the past ten days to be reflecting and introspecting even deeper into my own life (more...?? Like, seriously...), while my girlfriends are suddenly calling me to give them "a therapy session" on the issues that they are going through, and, ironically, even my own parents both need to hear it from me. ALL. AT. THE. SAME. TIME. Indeed the world has gone bonkers and I became its therapist. Now there's a thought! So yes, I whine and complain about how exhausted and tired I am from all of it, but my little secret is that I actually adore the results of all this "inner" hard work. Yes I adore it. I absolutely love having to clean through this kind of messes! It gets my bearings going, my blood pumping, and fulfills me greatly. Organizing the mountain of paperwork on my desk....? Not so much. In any case, the epiphanies that come from it all are wonderful and amazing, and in all shameless vanity, I feel they justify the few wrinkles on my face with some pride and decency.
An introvert by nature, I'm an observer. I need time to regroup, withdraw and reflect. I drill down. I do root-cause analysis. I like to find patterns in human nature and to watch the mechanisms of the mind unfold before my eyes. I also enjoy dancing on tables in bars once in a while and manage to convince my girlfriends to join me, so hey... self control is totally overrated sometimes. There definitely is a time and place for everything. I bring up a good point, because I've been observing, reflecting and analyzing for quite a while now, which means I'm due for another memorable night out with the girls soon (note to self).
So, I'd like to bead a few more pearls on a string by jotting down here a realization I've had these past few days of intense observation and root-cause analysis.
The innate, fundamental mechanism of contraction and expansion
Even though I was aware of this, I truly realized today that everything around me exists due to a basic transaction of: contraction and expansion. You can see it in the way your heart beats in your chest, or the inhaling and exhaling of the air as you breathe. It is innate and fundamental. Ingestion and excretion. What goes up must come down. What goes around comes around. This basic transaction is in my opinion what must be the root of all existence (as far as my brain can wrap around it). What happens if your heart stops after contracting, what happens if you no longer exhale, what happens if you no longer eat or if you no longer poop? There is a process of unraveling, and life ultimately stops (and at the point of death that energy transfers through in a different form, ultimately continuing this specific rhythm of life and death, but at this point the conversation is way too woo-woo and 'out there' for my taste, so I need to keep it simple). These small transactions of contraction and expansion, this natural rhythm, must be the basic necessity for life to exist. It is from this concept that I think everything that we deal with in our daily life today stems from, and its keeping this basic transaction in a healthy equilibrium that keeps life healthy and purposeful. I could drill down even more and talk biology and start discussing the recreation of cells in our bodies and explaining this concept through that, but again...who am I kidding. Now...my name isn't Dr. Oz for good reason! So I will keep it simple: to me, relationships are the most obvious form of this mechanism. By the simple fact that you exist, you are in a relationship with everything around you. You are first and foremost in a relationship with yourself, as you are with your boss, your children, your parents, your significant other, your neighbor, and your pet fish (or dog, or cat, or lizard). In order for these relationships to flourish, they need to stay alive and healthy, and you need to respect them by making sure the basic transaction of contraction and expansion is in check by: giving and receiving. You get groceries by giving money. You keep a game of tennis going by passing the ball back and forth. You show up every morning and give your work in exchange for receiving your salary. What happens if you show up but decide not to work? You will no longer receive a paycheck. What happens if you show up and work, but your boss decides not to pay you. You will quit. What happens if one tennis player keeps hitting ball after ball, and the other doesn't return them. There is no game. What happens if you don't want to pay for your groceries?
Giving and receiving is a basic transaction that keeps everything moving along. Promise what you can give, not what you can't. That's why, one should always spend what they have, not what they don't have. (Which is why one should know thyself, and always function from a place of truth.) The concept of credit doesn't work in finance, as credit generates interest, and in turn, that only generates more debt. Debt is an ultimate fail, and it is painstakingly obvious in the world today in any newspaper I open, or any news channel I turn on. I know, shocking revelation from an business graduate. But like in economics where you only get an equilibrium when supply and demand meet, the same stands true for everything else around us. All else is relatively based on variables, thrills and frills - totally and utterly irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. The world is totally out of sync in the mechanism of giving and receiving. Some give too much and receive too little, others receive too much and give to little. It is the reason why the world has gone bonkers. The fundamental mechanism of creation, of health, of life, is totally and completely out of sync.This is why globally, the financial institutions are failing, governments are failing, societies are failing, and locally, communities are failing, businesses are failing, and personally, relationships are failing and... we are fat. Sigh. We have lost the respect and the rhythm of this transaction of giving and receiving with self, with our intimate relationships, with our familiar relationships, with our social relationships, with our business relationships, even with our planet. It is all a big glob of a mess.
(I'm exhausted)
Now, I can't change the world. But I can start with myself first and foremost (I swear this is the last piece of chocolate I will bite into) and with my immediate environment and the relationships I am in. What is dysfunctional has to go, and what is functional has to stay. What is destructive has to go and what is constructive has to stay. What is unhealthy has to go and what is healthy has to stay. What can be changed will be worked on, what can't be changed will be let go. Yes of course (!!!) there will be ups and downs in life, but as I like to say, may they all take place between the sheets *wink*.
